Matthew 18:15

“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”

One of the first lessons we receive from Jesus about going to our brother when we have wronged them or when they have wronged us, and He speaks about restoration and forgiveness. Its funny that Matthew is the only Gospel to detail this teaching. As if its only needed once. Going to our brother when he has sinned against us is something Jesus commands us to do. But it does not give us the license to condemn and gossip about our brothers when they are in the wrong. This is something that is constantly misconstrued. “Because I know my brother is in the wrong, I will go to my ‘other’ friend and tell him how wrong he is.” That's not what jesus is telling us to do here, that is gossip and hypocrisy.

To go to my brother with the sin that he has committed against me is to acknowledge that God is Just. I am now recognizing that this is something that is completely out of my hands, and it never really did belong in my hands. I am also trusting that God will do what He alone can do. And that's soften my brothers heart and offer him grace, mercy, and restore our friendship. Restoration and forgiveness are processes that involve me but dont require me. In order for the Holy spirit to move, I need to get out of the way.

How can my brother hear me if im going to condemn and shame him? One way my brother will hear me is when He first feels the Holy spirit moving. Then he will know that I am not here to make judgements, nor cast stones. In this passage Jesus is talking to Christians as a whole. An unbeliever doesn't know what offering forgiveness looks like, he only knows his left foot from his right.