Psalm 5

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content. Philippians 4:11

  Paul on his second missionary journey to the Church of Phillipi let's us know that he doesn't speak just in times of need and desperation, but also in times of fulfillment. Paul wants to let them know that the joy of the Lord comes from Christ alone. At this time, Paul, was in prison but wants to encourage the Philippians. Don't just approach the throne when things are fatal, and darkness surrounds you. The Lord wants to give you joy. In the pouring rain, and in the scorching sun.

  Phillipians is one of my favorite books, Paul tells us there is Joy in Suffering (1:1-30), there's joy in serving, there's Joy in believing, and joy in giving. And this is exactly what Paul is talking about, there is a great joy in receiving, but “ Guys, I'm bound up right now, but I just want to say thank you! God is so amazing You'll never believe the joy that I'm feeling right now.” You'll be astonished at the abundance of joy you are given from above. The Church of Philippi had been so supportive in Paul's ministry and he wanted to give back all that he had.

 Earlier this week we learned to rejoice when others rejoice and mourn when others mourn. I found this so hard to do. Something in me couldn't find the strength or the joy. My heart grew heavy and very sorrowful. Why couldn't I be there for my brothers and sisters in Christ. Instead I grew angry, and bitter. I felt my heart hardened.

  As I found myself personal time, I wept. Knowing that this wasn't love, not what Jesus demonstrated on the cross. This isn't who God calls me to be. I then grew angry at myself. What is it, why can't you be there for them thalia, they are here for you. Knowing that if I continued in that mindset it would lead to a dark and overbearing place I began to pray  instead of question. I was then reminded of my childhood. Memories flooded my mind, one by one. And one by one like a knot being untied, they were loosened. A peace filled then filled me.

   It's sad to say I couldn't rejoice with my brothers and sisters as they received their field location, I couldn't even be content for myself. The Lord showed me the root of my problem, yes the past, but also my unwillingness to let these things go. Selfishness. I was focused on me. But God, He has called me higher. At that moment I hadn't learned how to be content. Yes I was bound up, but the Lord has and is continuing to restore me. There is Joy in knowing that, the work isn't done but it's being completed. So I press on because I will learn, from the father, that in whatever state I am in, to be content

This week I will rejoice when my brothers and sisters rejoice and mourn when my brothers and sisters mourn. To remind me of this i will write it on my hand.